Forward:
There’s this kid I know, Ryan, from Hanover Massachusetts, and he’s the singer of a new band named ‘Dive Like July’. Ryan contacted me, asking if I would write him a couple ’need to knows’ about the touring life. It seemed Ryan was worried about paying his rent, keeping the relationship with his girlfriend strong and I believe he wanted to stay away from learning things the hard way. Here are the first 25 that came to mind.

Do’s and Don’t For Ryan

1) Rent. Yes, rent sucks. If you’re not sure you really want to be in a band, if you’re gonna just be a weekend hero, then keep it, or get a sublet. However, it’s time and this is it, so just get rid of that money sucking, barely above poverty level apartment. Hell, on your way out, you can even flick off that one roommate you’ve hated for the past year. Now what? Crash at your buddies. Just give them $50.00 to $100.00 when you can, clean the apartment, now and then and buy them beer for the house AND when you’re out at the bar. However, you’re not buying a round, meaning he’s NOT allowed to buy your next drink. If you’re going to have the young idea that living with your girlfriend is the answer, then let me tell you this…. Never leave anything you own there, don’t move in. Treat her place like you would a house the band would crash at while on tour. Let me repeat, don’t leave your stuff there; you will probably break up –I’m sorry- but it’s true. Save yourself a lot of trouble. You see it will hurt more, when she cheats in your bed, in your sheets, listening to your cds, on your stereo. But, you’re so in love right now, you’re not gonna follow this one, “She’d never cheat on me” – I know.
2) Send your girlfriend flowers at work. Don’t fight with her on the phone, the boys at home will be her shoulder to cry on. Most important, don’t be jealous, it works against you.
3) Bring snacks and put them in a little tub. It saves money at over priced truck stops.
4) Loading out sucks, so play mellow music on a boom box during this mundane task. You’ll notice it calms everyone, recharges you and your whole li’l crew will start having a bit more fun. Save the heavy/loud music for after load out.
5) Understand everyone has ‘their day’. Let them. Everyone is different, some get quiet some get cranky. Don’t over examine them. Don’t pick a fight. You should just give them a complement or buy them a water. If it gets so bad that they are chilling in the van while everyone else is knee deep in debauchery, check up on them with a gift. Tell them, ‘I’m just seeing how you are buddy”. You may be drunk when you do this, so make sure you don’t crowd them or interrupt their relaxing little Zen hippie moment.
6) Don’t talk about shows the night of the show! The best thing to do is wait till the next morning. Stick to this no matter what. Even if it’s a great show, someone could always say one thing negative and then BOOM you’re talking about tempos.
7) Don’t talk about the band or anything of value drunk. EVER! Okay, okay, you can have a ”We’re awesome” spout, but know when to quit.
8) Help your boys carry their gear on stage, even after you’ve carried yours.
9) If you’re the person who does the talking on stage, mention everyone else in the band. You don’t have to do this every night, just every once in a while.
10) Tell your band mates they did a good job every couple of days.
11) Don’t cheat on your girl. If you’re not strong enough to control yourself, just break up with her.
12) If you’re a ‘hook up band’, then have a pact that no one will steal other band guys girls. No Warped Tour hoochy is worth any of your friendships, no matter how complicated your friendships are.
13) ) Respect that if your band mate tells you to chill when you’re drunk, he’s looking out for you. Being a blind, angry drunk is no legacy.
14) Don’t settle up intoxicated, its money and you’re still at work.
15) Promoters will always try and pay you less then agreed. For every band that doesn’t accept this scam, 3 will, so you can see how it’s smart for them to try. A guarantee is just that, A GUARANTEE.
16) Once you leave the van you’re on stage.
17) Remember at all times at the show, at least one person is looking at you.
18) If someone leaves the group to hook up or see family, then GET BACK TO THE BOYS IN THE MORNNING. Do not make people wait for you.
19) If you’re too proud to piss in a bottle while driving, know this, you’re gonna break, so start today.
20) No drugs above pot.
21) Have a secret knock for hotel rooms. This will come in handy when you’re tired, hung over, and an hour past check out with 10 too many people in the hotel room.
22) Call your parents on tour, even if they’re bad parents. This will give them something to talk about with their friends and you being on tour will become less of a disappointment.
23) Keep EVERYTHING you bring in the club, hotel room, or weird house in one pile. If you spread out, you’re going to begin you’re string of losing everything you love. Also, people do steal from the band room and ‘no’, the club isn’t responsible. If you like it, protect it. AND if you know you’re gonna get drunk later, get your stuff in an easier to manage pile.
24) Remember, you’re brothers, and brothers are tighter then even best friend’s.
25) Have fun. Everyone wishes they were doing what you are. You’re free.

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